Love Notes From Adriane

Now that this season’s Married to Medicine has wrapped and I have sorted out my feelings, I can finally talk about one of the highlights that hit home for me this season. BUFFIE’S INFERTILITY.

I’m sure a few of you are tired of hearing about infertility from me, shoot I’m tired of talking about it too. But I understand the importance of me telling my story. When Buffie’s infertility journey was placed into forefront during the season, I found it hard to watch those painful moments of her. And if you have been keeping up with my blog and Instagram (@authenticallyadriane) you know I have been dealing with my own infertility journey as well.

During the reunion Buffie talked about how important it was for her to carry her child, bond with her baby and feel like a “real” mom. Although I know physically having a child does not make you a mom, it’s just something about carrying the child that puts a whole new meaning to it. Do you know how traumatic it is to a women’s psyche to struggle to do the very thing her body was designed to do? How emotionally draining it is to do every single thing the doctor has told her to do and still not conceive and/or carry a healthy baby to full term? How damaging it is to a marriage when a woman doesn’t feel like she is good enough because the very thing her husband wants she can’t give him? I’m sure those are all thoughts Buffie has felt at some point. Those things run through my mind every single day.

I’m happy Buffie is getting her happy ending and has decided to use a surrogate. I know her and her husband will create an amazing family life and atmosphere for some beautiful babies. The downside is although Buffie is getting her happy ending, some of us (even myself) are not fortunate enough to have the means to afford a surrogate or multiple rounds of advanced fertility treatments. It’s just the way the world turns.   So in the meantime can ya’ll do me a favor? Stop telling women to adopt instead. Adoption is not a consolation prize. Stop telling women to relax. WE CAN’T. I promise you we can’t. And stop giving advice. Just listen and pray positive thoughts for them.   

Oh yeah, Happy New Year!

Adriane