Love Notes From Adriane

Now that I’m quickly approaching my 3rd year of marriage the question that everybody and they momma are asking is “When are ya’ll going to start a family?” If only you understood how much that question makes me cringe. I usually want to reply back something petty but as of recently I’m learning not to allow my emotions and petty thoughts consume me. So I usually answer with generic answers like “soon” or “when God sees fit.” Never a straight answer because I honestly don’t have one. And as much as I like being selfish, getting good sleep, and using the bathroom alone (I hear these mom stories) being a mom is definitely something I’ve always wanted.

But my issue as of lately, are so many people feeling they are entitled to asking about MY reproductive system and putting so much unwanted pressure on me to build a family. Before I start on a rant, let me explain to you why its insensitive to ask any woman when she will start a family, is she pregnant or what’s taking so long to start a family. I’m currently aware of two women who are struggling with conceiving. They are women just like myself in their late twenties/early thirties who are struggling, praying, medicating, eating right and crying out to God to answer their prayer to mother a child. They are constantly tracking ovulation, timing sex with their husbands and taking pregnancy test after pregnancy test, only to be disappointed month after month with negatives. So those of you who are asking when a women will have a child has no idea what that women is going through to make it happen.

On top of all those reasons bringing a child into this world is a big responsibility. It’s important to my husband and I that if/when we have children that we raise them in the most healthy environment possible. Being financially and emotionally stable makes a immense difference in how you raise a child, mainly because children learn from how their parents act. As adults we have to be aware of our actions and model good behavior by communicating well, fighting fair, speaking kindly to others and showing affection. We have to stop the “Don’t do as I do, do as I say do” parenting and lead by example.

I’m sure most people will agree on the emotional stable part but some would slide past financial stability because “God will make a way, ” or “You never really know how to budget and make ends meet until you have a child.” And those things may be true but why not plan and prepare for the best possible outcome to raise your child?

So the next time you talk to me, please do not ask when I plan to start a family. Ask about my well being. Give me words of encouragement. Invite me out for adult beverages.I promise if/when the time comes, I will make you aware. I may even talk about my experience right here on my blog. However, unless I talk to you about it, don’t talk to me about it. K?

Am I the only woman tired of the pressure of  getting pregnant? #GETUPOUTMYOVARIES