Love Notes From Adriane

Being married is one of the hardest relationships in my life. If your marriage is perfect, ya’ll never argue, ya’ll never disagree, ya’ll never have issues then please comment with the sorcery you possess. Marriage is work, but this post isn’t about marriage. This post is about having married friends who understand the challenges of being married. Married friends who aren’t afraid to be transparent and share the ups and downs or their personal journey.

I currently have a group of amazing married women in my life who I love dearly. Recently we rented a boat on the river and set sail to sip adult beverages, eat good food and just talk about marriage.  It was named “Self-care Saturday: Baddies on the Bay.” And ya’ll don’t even understand how it blessed my life. I even cried. (And if you know anything about me, you know I’m a thug and WILL NOT cry in front of others.) But Baddies on the bay was precisely the self care I needed. I needed to take a step back from all the hard work I’ve been putting in as a wife and enjoy other women who have been doing the same. I came home that evening feeling healthier in my mind, body and soul; willing and ready to be more supportive, loving and productive in my marriage.

Side Note – These amazing married women identify as TBOE, I will reference that name in the future. We make it a point to meet once a month just to kick back and love on another, all while holding one another accountable in marriage.

3 Reasons why you need married friends:

1. They speak life into your marriage – Having the encouragement of someone who you know understands is priceless. Sometimes its hard to see positives when we are going through valleys in marriage, but having friends to reassure and inspire you is valuable.
2. They call you out on your mess – I know many of us hate being held accountable, but having friends who call you out are absolutely needed. I’m not talking about judgmental and shady foolishness to hurt you, but comments and conversations that lead to you to being a better spouse.
3. They understand your frustrations – Sometimes having a husband can feel like “adult baby sitting”, but knowing I have friends who understand precisely what I mean when I say that phrase keeps me sane. At any moment of the day or night I can text or call them with something large or small my spouse has done or not done and they feel my pain. And they usually always follow up with “Chile believe me I understand” and give me their personal “adult baby sitting” moment of the week.

Lastly have your own friends. Your spouse can be your best friend but they can’t be your only friend. Please invest time in building relationships with other people. It’s nothing worst than seeing a couple who can’t hang without the other. Having your own time is important. (That’s another post within itself, but it’s definitely a WORD)

Also, don’t fall into this comparison, couple goals stuff when having married friends. Do what works for your marriage and succeed at making one another better.

Ya’ll got some married friends? How important is that friendship?